Hospital Funnies

So since we spent a lot of time in the hospital this last month (and will probably still be spending lots of time there in the coming weeks) we have made good friends with many nurses and staff who now greet us by name. We feel like very special VIPs because we rarely have to give anybody our code to get in since they usually recognize us and buzz us in. I've felt recently that my blog has been getting a little bleak lately so in an effort to lighten the mood I'm going to share some funnies from our time spent in the hospital.

One of the funnier ones involves "passing gas." I apologize for writing about this on a blog, but I'm sure at least my 16-year-old brother will enjoy the story. Since I was induced on Monday night and didn't have Skylar until Wednesday afternoon it had been two and half days since I had eaten. They don't let you eat when you're in labor because of nausea so you're basically limited to clear fluids and ice chips....not the most substantial meal in my opinion. This didn't work since I threw up anyways, but apparently they enjoy torturing laboring women by not letting them eat before going through some of the hardest physical work imaginable. Go figure. Anyways since I had a C-section one of the concerns they have is that your digestive system begins working before they will feed you anything. So although I had already given birth to Skylar they wouldn't feed me until I had "passed gas."

Well, Thursday morning rolled around and I finally farted. Normally I wouldn't want to share this information with the world, but since it meant I would finally get a decent meal I was telling everybody! Did I mention that I hadn't eaten since Monday? Once Ryan woke up I shared with him my exciting news. He wasn't that impressed and gave me a weird look, so I waited for him to take a shower and then told him again. He still didn't get it so finally I told him to go tell the nurse that I farted. I wish so much that I could have been there for that conversation. That poor man had already been through a lot, and now his wife who was still a little loopy from pain-killers and was currently being dosed up with lots of magnesium was making him share with a complete stranger that his wife had displayed evidence of a working digestive system. What a champ.

Skylar's Progress

So some of you might be a little bit confused as to why Skylar is in the NICU. Since he was born 5 weeks premature he has a condition known as Respiratory Distress Syndrome. This is just a fancy way of saying he has a hard time breathing on his own. When he was first born they had him on a C-Pap which did a lot of his breathing for him. That only lasted for a day and then they switched him to a breathing tube. This didn't supply oxygen for him, but rather gave him a feed of pressurized air. This helped him to more fully expand his lungs and have something to work against to help build the muscles he needs to breathe on his own. They've been slowly decreasing his pressure over the last week, and as of last night he no longer has a breathing tube! He has been doing great on his own, and it is looking very promising that he will be able to continue breathing without any foreign devices.
No more breathing tube!

He is also currently receiving fluids and antibiotics through an IV. This is probably the saddest treatment he has to endure in my opinion, but I also am not a fan of needles :) He started off with an IV in his hand which they eventually moved to his head, then moved again to his other hand, and back to his head. Since his veins are so tiny they have a hard time supporting the IVs for very long and the veins eventually end up collapsing. We're hopeful that this last IV in his head will be his last one. Since his feedings have been increasing they have been gradually decreasing the amount of fluid he receives via the IV and they think he will be able to come off of it completely sometime this evening or tomorrow. This will make his mama very happy since the sight of a needle in her son's head is not pleasant. We did manage to get a picture of him when he didn't have any IVs in his head (there had been a point when he had one on each side as they were still flushing the other one and had started a new one). I love that he has so much dark hair and the fact that they gave him a hairstyle reminiscent of his daddy's!

The last invasive tube that he has right now is a feeding tube. He receives most of his nutrition through that, but we have also been practicing breast-feeding twice a day. Once his IV is out they will start weighing him before and after feedings. So far he is doing well at latching and even does well with sucking, but we can't be sure how effective these feedings are until all of his fluids come from nursing rather than through an IV. Once we can determine if he is actually receiving milk from nursing they will start increasing his feedings until he is only receiving milk from me rather than through the tube in his nose. We are excited for that day, because at that point he will be allowed to come home!

We are pleased with all of the progress he is making and know that it is because of the faith and prayers that have been issued on his behalf. It has been very touching for me to hear how many people are praying for him. Our ward held a special fast for both him and I as we are still in the recovery process, and I know that it is because of the fasting and prayers that he has been able to make steady progress. The doctors and nurses keep reminding us that everything we are asking of him is something that we wouldn't expect him to grasp for another 5 weeks, so his progress may rollercoaster a little bit. They keep telling us to expect that he won't be discharged until his due date (October 5), but we are very hopeful that he will come home to us sooner. It is very strange to only be able to spend 2 hours with this little man after having him with me 24/7. Whatever happens, we know the Lord is in control of the outcome and that when he does come home he will be able to be healthy and more capable of living normally.

Advantages

I've been trying to focus on the positive recently, and after my last novel of a post, I feel like giving people something to celebrate! So without further ado....

5 Advantages to Not Being Pregnant Anymore

1. I can brush my teeth without throwing up.

2. I no longer have to eat breakfast within 15 minutes of waking up to prevent more throwing up.

3. My feet are almost back to a normal size.

4. Sleeping is easy! (I can still say this since my baby is sleeping in another location. I have a feeling this will wear off faster than all the others.)

5. In another week my swelling will hopefully have gone down enough to wear shoes and my wedding ring again!


5 Advantages to Having a C-Section

1. No episiotomy or tearing. Need I say more?

2. I'm not supposed to lift anything. I get to be waited on hand and foot :)

3. I am now more empathetic towards my Uncle Blake who recently had spinal surgery and had to relearn how to walk. I may rub it in that it only took me two days to get on my feet, whereas it took him almost a month. (totally kidding btw)

4. My doctor told me I am not allowed to clean for 6-8 weeks. Whereas this will be hard for me to just leave things alone, the break will still be nice.

5. I'm not supposed to climb stairs. I will never feel lazy when I take the elevator.

I have many things to be grateful for. More to come! I'm probably going to be blogging much more now that I have a doctor's order to take it easy...

Birth Story

This week has been one of the most defining experiences of my life, but has also been filled with some of the most traumatic moments I've ever had to deal with. My mom suggested that maybe writing everything down would help me sort through it in my mind and be able to deal with it better. I don't know who would want to read it, and if you are currently pregnant I actually recommend that you don't read it. However, I'm sure having other people know what I am going through and also had to go through, will help me to better cope with what has happened and what I will still have to face in the future.

I guess most of this started three weeks ago when I started realizing that I was swelling more than normal and that my blood pressure (which pre-pregnancy ran around 90/60) was creeping upwards of 150/110 at times. My doctor and I kept in touch and after a few stays in the hospital I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. The only way to solve this was to deliver the baby, but we figured we could hold off long enough to deliver that Skylar would be fine. I was put on strict bedrest to try to keep him in there as long as possible, but last Monday everything reached a point where it threatened my life too much to have him stay in utero. Everyone assured me that he would transition just fine outside of the womb. I think in the back of my mind I knew that he would have to spend some time in the NICU, but since he was only 2 weeks shy of "full-term" (37 weeks) I figured he would still come home with us and we could be a family together.

All things considered when I walked into the hospital on Monday I did know in the back of my mind that there was a chance that I would be delivering my baby before I left. My sister took me up to perinatology and we ran a few tests. After these tests were done they decided to admit me overnight and sent me over to labor and delivery. I didn't realize how serious they were about the possibility of me delivering that day until I started joking with the nurse at the front desk. She had seen me a lot in the past few days, and as I was signing the same paperwork for the third time I remarked, "Man, by the time I actually come here to have my baby I'm going to be a pro at this." She responded with, "Uhm, I think that is why you are here." .....Now enter meltdown mode.

Thankfully my sister had packed most of my hospital bag, and I had created a google doc to help her pack the last few things. So with this new revelation, I texted Ryan at work to let him know that he probably wanted to come to the hospital sooner rather than later. He arrived and we waited awhile to meet with my doctor. Thankfully, one of our friends ended up being our nurse for the evening. It was good to kind of have somebody to abdicate for us and just understand our concerns. We waited around in a room for awhile while they monitored me and Skylar, and around 10 o'clock my doctor came in and announced that enough was enough and it was just time to induce me. They started off with just a cervical gel to see if that would be enough to start me into labor.

After about 10 hours of that I was still only at about 1 cm, so they decided to start me on Pitocin. For those of you unacquainted with this drug, I encourage you to remain that way. It basically kickstarts labor, but is well known for intensifying contractions. Most doctors make you start an epidural when you start Pitocin, but I wanted to see how far I could make it without an epidural. Around this time my mom showed up, and I was already completely exhausted despite barely having any real contractions or progress in labor. I hadn't really slept in the past day since I was constantly awoken by someone wanting to take a blood sample or run tests.

It was now about 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I had progressed to about 2 cms. My mom suggested that I take an epidural since they wanted to crank up the dosage of Pitocin they were giving me. I decided this was good advice, and after a quick visit from the anesthesiologist, I decided that epidurals were a gift from God. With my epidural in they decided to really crank up the Pitocin, and start some heavier contractions. I was fine with this since I could not feel a thing. Unfortunately, about 30 minutes later Skylar's heart rate started dropping into the 30s.

I'm not sure if it was scarier to watch his heart rate disappear, or to watch how quickly my room flooded with doctors and nurses. It was very apparent that something was wrong and the next few minutes were vital to keeping my baby alive. My doctor was not at the hospital at the time, but another doctor proceeded to break my water, stop the Pitocin, and insert a device that would monitor Skylar more effectively from inside the uterus. Thankfully, these measures worked and Skylar's heart rate picked back up.

Unfortunately, this meant that I was left to my own devices to progress in labor without Pitocin, and with a body that was still thinking it should be 35 weeks pregnant. Needless to say, we went another night with not a lot of sleep, and not a lot of progress. It was however painless, thanks to the epidural :) The next morning they decided to slowly start creeping up the levels of Pitocin again since it had been over 30 hours since I had been induced, and since they normally want to deliver a baby within 24 hours of your water breaking.

I can't say when, but somewhere around mid-morning my epidural stopped working. It wasn't the worst experience ever, but I could tell a huge difference in my pain management. I suddenly had to start breathing through my contractions and at times pant or moan just to endure it. I had progressed to about 4 cms, but considering that I had been in labor for 30+ hours this was rather unimpressive. My doctor came in and informed me that she was going to give me one more hour to progress to a 5, otherwise I would have to deliver the baby via C-section. My mom joked that it was a good thing they gave me a specific goal, since I am a very goal oriented person. They proceeded to crank up the Pitocin, and the next hour was one of the most painful I can remember.

I have a very high pain threshold, so once my mom saw me panting and moaning and crying through contractions she knew that something was wrong. She was able to figure this out even further when I told them to page the anesthesiologist. He came in and proceeded to dose me up with more medication in my epidural, but despite a large amount of drugs, my pain stayed pretty consistent. My doctor then came in to check me, and to everyone's surprise I had not only progressed to a 5, but was all the way to a 7. In the past hour my body had almost doubled the progress it had made in the last 35(ish), and had done it without the relief of an epidural. Yes, I'm basically awesome, but I was also in some serious pain. It took about another hour for me to get to 10 cms, and was almost completely effaced when Skylar's heart rate started dropping again.

It was at this point that they started prepping an OR for my delivery, and the anesthesiologist returned to redo the epidural. I have a few moments during this time that I know that I blacked out. I don't remember being transferred to the OR, but I remember waking up under their bright lights and listening to the heart rate monitor and silently talking to Skylar and trying to help him bring his heart rate under control. I'm sure he was just as exhausted as I was at that point, but my doctor knew how desperate I was to avoid a C-section so she let me try pushing a few times. Unfortunately every time I pushed his heart rate dropped lower and lower until it disappeared altogether.

I remember my doctor telling me that we would have to take him out via C-section, and I remember breaking down into the biggest sobs I've ever cried. I felt so helpless, and scared, and nervous for the next procedure my body was going to go through. The anesthesiologist then started testing my body to see if I was still feeling any sensation since they prefer to keep you awake during a C-section. He had a special pen or something that he would push on your body that had a retractable pin. He ran it all up and down my body to test whether I was feeling pain (the pin) or pressure (the pen). I kept telling him that I could feel it when he pressed it against my stomach, but he was positive that I was just being hysterical. I can't say I really blame him considering the large amounts of drugs that he had previously been giving me.

Next thing I knew I was being cut open....and I could feel the knife. I started yelling that I could feel it. The next thing I knew they put me to sleep and I woke up back in labor and delivery. If you want to know what happened in the meantime, you'd have to ask Ryan since I have no memory of the next two hours or so. All I know is I woke up in a new bed, with staples holding my stomach together, and my baby was not with me anymore. This is where shear panic and distress set in. I've been told that for the next few hours I kept asking the same questions over and over again (I was pretty doped up). I kept asking where the baby was, how he was doing, what time he was born, where I was, how big he was, etc.

Thankfully Skylar made it through the delivery, but like myself was a little worse for the wear. The doctors aren't exactly sure what went wrong, why his heart rate kept dropping, why I could feel the incision, and why everything that possibly could go wrong did. The cord was wrapped around his shoulder and so they think that maybe every time I pushed or they turned up the Pitocin it put too much pressure on the cord and cut off oxygen and blood to Skylar. Nevertheless, we both made it through the delivery process and I can now say that I've experienced three labors in one. Laboring with an epidural, laboring without an epidural, and a C-section. I'm basically a pro.

I have a lot of thoughts going through my head still that I'm sure I will write about later. Through it all I had some strong impressions that this was going to be a hard process, but that the outcome would result in me and my son being safe and alive. We're definitely both a little worse for the wear, but our doctors assure us that we won't carry any of the trauma with us for the rest of our lives. In the meantime, I'm grateful for modern medicine because without it my son and I likely wouldn't still be here. We've been mourning a lot around here lately since we are now home, but we had to leave Skylar at the NICU. He'll likely be there for a few more weeks, and my heart just yearns to be with him and hold him. Especially after being so physically attached for the last 8 months. However, today my mom told me that she was praying for guidance in how to help us cope and she received the strong prompting that both Skylar and I narrowly escaped death, and because of that we should be grateful.

I will still mourn the absence of my baby, but I so look forward to the day that we finally get to bring him home. We've put away his clothes and removed the physical reminders of the fact that he is not here with us, but I rejoice that we will have the opportunity to bring him home someday. I don't have to wait until the eternities to be with my baby, and it is because of the priesthood blessings we received, the knowledge of medicine we have been blessed with, and the ability of our doctors to listen to the promptings of the Spirit and know how to keep the two of us in mortality. I have much to be grateful for, and I plan on remembering that every time I cry during the next few weeks.

Worst Wake-up Ever

*Knock knock*

"Come in." -Me

"Phlebotomy!" -Them

Well good morning to you too. I can already tell this is going to be a good day.

Bedrest

So recently I've learned that if I'm going to the doctors (even for a short visit) I need to bring a book or something to keep me entertained. Not because it takes them forever to see me, but because lately I've just been sent to the hospital to sit for hours on end while they poke me and laugh at how much my baby wiggles :) I've also decided that I am going to have many more blog posts in the near future since I am currently....stuck. That's right, I'm on bedrest. Somewhat inconvenient since I was supposed to start school today, but there's nothing I can do about that. So instead I will sit here and pretend like I have something useful to write.

I guess most of you are probably wondering why I'm on bedrest, so we'll backtrack a little bit. I've been diagnosed with preeclampsia. Strange for me since my blood pressure has never been above 90/60 in my entire life, but pregnancy does some weird things to ya. So after spending the night in the hospital so they could monitor me and my baby (and so I could repeat my favorite 24 hour urine test). They decided that I wasn't in so bad of shape that they needed to induce me right away, but that I could go home and just rest for awhile.

This was a blessing. I was NOT ready to have that baby on Friday, and on Saturday I was in even worse shape since I had gotten less than 4 hours of sleep the night before. They aren't going to let me go past 38 weeks (the risk to me at that point would far outweigh any sort of risk to the baby) and will probably induce me before then since UVRMC is one of the leading hospitals in neonatology in the world.....we're in good hands to say the least. I'm going back to the hospital today to run some more tests, and I have a doctors appointment again tomorrow (they just miss me so much they wanted to see me again!). So I'll probably have more by way of an update at that point.

Until then, you can find me here. I will be making endless baby blankets, cramming more information about labor and delivery into my head, and catching up on Gilmore Girls reruns. Praise the Lord, we have Netflix :)

Updates

So this post has been a long time coming, I realize that. In my defense life has been crazy! I finally finished summer term and can proudly say that I have passed all of my theory core! This summer has been exhausting, but I'm so grateful that I just sucked it up and finished everything. I'm still not finished with school, but most of the classes that I have left are more of the "show up and take the test variety" rather than the "be in class every day or you will fail variety." I'm excited though because for the first time ever I will only have two hours of class a day in the fall! Just as a comparison I had class from 8-3 during the summer. This means that I finally get to settle down and prepare for our baby to get here!

We had a little bit of extra excitement this week in the form of an extra doctors visit. I had been noticing that my blood pressure was going up at each appointment, so I decided to just keep an eye on it. I've always had super low blood pressure (like 90/60) so even just seeing my blood pressure in the 100s is a shock for me. However, it had been getting as high as 140/87 and I'd been swelling a lot in my hands, feet, and face, so I decided a quick call to the doctor might be a good idea. They decided to have me come in, and unfortunately my blood pressure was up to 140/110. This was cause for concern (and some panic) because it hints towards preeclampsia.
Needless to say they sent me over to the hospital to do a non-stress test and make sure everything was okay with baby. The test itself is a breeze, you basically lay down and they hook up monitors to your stomach to check the baby's heart rate, and monitor your blood pressure every 10 minutes. Thankfully, once I laid down my blood pressure went down to 126/86 (still not perfect, but your blood pressure is expected to go up during pregnancy) and baby was kicking at all the monitors during the entire test. We definitely have a stinker on our hands here! He had his own ideas about having monitors strapped to him :)

The only thing I didn't like about the test was that they checked you in to a room on the labor and delivery floor in order to have it done. I was just looking around the whole time thinking, "I'm not quite ready to be here yet, can I come back in a few weeks?" As nerve-wracking as that was though, it was nice to see the area where we will have the baby in a few weeks and get acquainted with the procedures they have up there. If nothing else, now I won't worry that we will wander the hospital for hours looking for labor and delivery :)

Even though the NST came back normal, they still wanted to do a few more tests just to see where our levels of concern should be. Basically they had me do a 24 hour urine collection. I pray that none of you will ever have to do this. This is not painful in the least, but is disgusting, and if you are still suffering from morning sickness and nausea, it is one of the last things you will ever want to do. You can probably guess what it consists of. That's right, they give you a big jug and tell you to collect all of your urine in that jug for the next 24 hours, and keep the jug in the fridge. Excuse me, but my food is in the fridge. Let's just say that neither Ryan nor I had much of an appetite that day.

Anyways I haven't heard back on the results of that test, or my blood test, so I'm hoping that means everything is checking out normal and I just have to take it easy for the next little while. I definitely consider it a blessing that my blood pressure came down so quickly just by lying down. My mom is convinced that they're going to put me on bed-rest if this continues to be an issue, but I'm hoping they will hold off on that for another week or so. We're moving on Monday, and I just can't take a break until then. If I do have to go on bed-rest though, at least I'll be able to update this blog more! Here's to looking at the bright side!